[blot] I am glad I went.
A small entry, as I am to see Lafey soon, though I will likely want to write about that as well, and I'd rather not lose too much. I've stuck the letter in with some of the earlier ones recieved, but [blot] after reading it, I simply could not help but go and see her.
Sphae, I mean. She seemed very troubled. Much more than I think she really wanted to speak, but. I simply did not wish to have her go alone. [spot] That is not the only reason, but she made it sound [blot] so final. I can't claim to know anything, but she [a few spots] I know she doesn't need me there.. but she might. It isn't that her skill is lacking in the least, but there are some things that are just.. too much for one alone, no matter how grand someone is. If you need someone to pull you up from somewhere you can't reach, only another can hold a hand out for you. If you need a solution that you cannot come to, only another can present one themselves. I [blot] I would not go to the Wastes alone. Or I would feel much as she may. That I may not return. It is bigger than the both of us, but with the both of us, we may be able to learn more, go further, and return with less lost.
I want to go with her. She is a friend, and no matter what this was, dangerous or simple, if there is something she seeks, I would wish to help if I can. [blot] The Growth is.. so troubling. We both feel it. Andif we can learn enough, perhaps we can Bend the Rules before it spreads too far. Perhaps by what we find, it could be used to inform those who would, hopefully, not need to deal with it themselves. [blot] I.[blot] I couldn't stand by myself if I let her go alone.
[a few spots]
I am never there for any of them. I don't want to keep being that way. I never wished to keep being that way. [a few spots]
Or if I must continue to be so far [spot] I at least wish to bring them something well worth my [blot]inability to.. be a better friend. It can't make up for what I am, but it will be something. Something that will matter to them. Something that could help them keep their Choices, so they may have the life they wish.
[a few more spots]
Sphae mentioned too, which is important, my 'compromise'. She said I was part of something greater, and that something happened. That I had been "compromised". And that, to her, and what she has done.. that often means something along the branches of tragedy. [blot] She thought it was what caused the tendrils, but that is.. one of the few things I do recall. It is.. hazy in places, but [spot] I was a sapling. I had barely been anywhere, other than where.. I ended up. I was part of nothing greater back then, unless..[blot] one means a terrible.. mess.
It is troublesome. It makes me wonder just.. what I meant Before. My own words.. [a few blots] Did I write them before I forgot? Is the 'compromise' what made me forget? Or is the 'compromise' why I chose to? Was it related at all? I [blot]
I don't know if I should chase this further. And certainly not now. I don't need anything that could put me in any.. other strange state.
"Know your sacrifices are worth your freedom."
[blot]
I should stop writing soon, but I also must note, as you can see by the letter which this entry refers,Sphae made me an excellent riddle~ It had choices, and a price for each. One would need to have the knowledge or..~ Well, they would not be able to gain what is Unknown~ It was grand, I was so very pleased by it..~ I must remember to give her something of equally interesting caliber sometime~
But for now, I should head off to see Lafey. She requested I be disguised, and I think I will try to create myself as a human~
No comments:
Post a Comment