81 Phoenix, 1327

Last sun was.. interesting. Quite a bit happened that was either grand or terrible, and then there were some things entirely in between and I really haven't the words for them.

Sphae and I infiltrated a place taken by the Nightmare Court. A sylvari there was grand at making disguises, it seems, to have another look as though they are one with Nightmare. ... And with that, Sphae and I.. [blot] looked around the place for our own reasons.

I still don't quite know hers. I am guessing research, but for what, I do not know. Either way they are her Secrets, and [a few more spots] well, it really isn't that important to place here anyway. She knows mine, though. Somewhat.

The place I was looking for wasn't there. ... It's probably good that it wasn't, all things considered.

I really don't know if I would wish to sneak into that place again, now that I consider it. Would they remember me? I know not [blot] all of them were [a few more spots] . . . I can't help but wonder if the ones that remained returned to that place. Wherever it is. If .. they would recall me if I were ever seen. If they [blot]wish some sort of vengeance, or [spot] if they, perhaps, enjoyed what happened. I [a few blots] I don't know if that is a more or less favorable thing to hope for. [a few more spots] I don't think anything would have turned out the same if it hadn't happened, but -- [streak, blot]

Recalling that time brings up so many thoughts. They scatter like fireflies, when I jump into that place in my mind. [spot] It's hard to stop watching them.

Apparently, I can deceive even a Knight of Nightmare into thinking I am one of them.. sufficiently well.Well enough for praise, even. I do not quite know what to think of this either. I don't care for deception. [a few blots] Not even all that I said was a lie, though, so perhaps that... made some difference. The Chaos was helpful in.. thinking differently, though it always has been. All I really had to do was listen to some of the things it says, and speak the ones that sounded most like Nightmare. Then to think of Nightmare as I think of Choice; a really, incomparable thing, though [blot] I remember that many of them seem to think otherwise. Though other than cover, I did very little, until the end.

Sphae seemed to offer help to those captured. [a few spots] It was particularly hard to be around those cages and do nothing, but I [blot] left it to Sphae. I felt terrible for seeing those bars and thinking more about being behind them, than those who actually were behind them. It.. [blot] was troubling, but it clouded my thoughts so completely that considering a decent plan to help them was.. it ran from me entirely. I suppose that may have been just as well, terrible as it may sound to any other. It seems if it were known that many were sneaking in here to free others, the whole plan might be lost to the winds before a better effort than just the two of us, planless, might be made. Furthermore, there were far too many Nightmare. [a few more spots]

It was not the same place, but it was similar. I wasn't there for terribly long, but I could remember the sun, and there was no sun there. [an ink blot or two]

We looked around further and found nothing, at least to my end. Sphae decided to help a wounded pup... and that was when we were found. Or she was. They were able to tell she was a Dreamer. . . which was interesting, as she thought she was more Quiet than that. Though I am Soundless, they suspected nothing of my act, to my surprise. I never thought I was that grand a liar, though I suppose more morbid thoughts are.. not all that uncommon to me. Before we were approached though, Sphae seemed to think she may be in trouble, and told me to continue 'playing along' with what happens. So I did, making it out to be a deceitful capture. The Knight and some others attempted to capture Sphae, though she handled herself with quite some skill as I vaguely distracted the others, and eventually I stepped in to help a little. It didn't take long though, for the rest of them to realize there had been a problem. [a few spots]

A.. hoard of them came down to start firing at us. I covered us both with invisibility, but it seemed to damage and react oddly to our disguise magic, nevermind distort the air around us some; but if I were to get too injured or drop the cloak then, we would be in real trouble. It.. [blot] was not the same. It wasn't. But it reminded me so terribly much of.. before.

When we started running, I didn't dare stop. Nor look back. I had to try so hard to keep down the Chaos, I couldn't let that happen again, not with Sphae there, [large blot]

It didn't. We made it out. 

But I had to calm down. I really had to calm down, because I was [blot] afraid. Afraid it would happen again. But it didn't. I just had to stay still, had to realize we were out, and it was ok. Sphae seemed worried about me again. I wish I wasn't so much trouble at times. It didn't happen again, so there was no reason to be worried, but I knew I was probably acting very strangely.

Ugh, even just writing about this is troublesome.

We were both fine. I coaxed something up to help heal the pup Sphae had. No one followed us. Nothing... terrible happened.

We sat and spoke for a while longer, which was much more of a welcome calm. I told her it had happened during an escape. I think she will get the Wardens to help those that remain. And I was curious of her Quiet.

She had apparently once been fully Soundless for a time, but I believe she wishes to maintain some sort of connection to others, even though she feels quite far from them. I had thought one such as her would have a great many friends, and know a number of interesting others, but it seems [blot] that I have been the first one she was close to for a while. Apparently many of those she met are, perhaps, much more suitable to be turned to ash, as she mentioned~ But, to her, it seems, I am not one of them. She said I was intelligent and interesting, and.. not annoying, compared to most. She called me a friend as well~ Though I could see it was strange to her to say~ I couldn't help but mention I understood such feelings, as.. for the longest time, I didn't know if I should call anyone a friend, even though they certainly were. I am quite glad to be her friend though, as she is the same for me. I [blot] simply did not expect to be.. anyone of much consequence. It seems I end up that way sometimes, so.. I hope I can be a grand friend to her, despite that. She gave me a bunch of tiny huffs about the subject and spoke about the different rates that bodies burn. I found it pleasing, but I imagine she wouldn't care too much to ever know such a thing..~

It was not long before we parted ways, for her to return to the Grove and see to the little one, and I to.. get the brambles out of the forest. Overall, it was.. a very interesting day.