62 Phoenix, 1327

[a few spots]

An unexpected meeting happened the other sun. I went to tell them at the mansion of my... [blot]transience in location. As well as, perhaps, maybe Ren about my theories, the more I thought on walking over. It seems, though, that many more were present than I was thinking might be - even Lafey.

She looked as though she was wilting, that she [blot] pushed herself too far. It wasn't much mentioned, but I was quite concerned. [a few more spots] I worry for her. She was not like that the last time I saw her, which wasn't that long ago either. I.. [spot] wonder if she was, perhaps, trying to 'call' for someone while walking the sliver over mist, so to speak. If.. [a few spots] if she does feel like I do. If so, I hope whoever it was has, or will, answer. [a few more spots]

Eventually we found some words. I can only speak for myself when I say that I had far too much I wished to say, and not the words to say it. Though perhaps it was like that for them as well. The cliffs were mentioned, and the festival. It seems Sphae may have already gone there, so [a few spots] I do not know if there's any real reason to wait anymore, or if she even cares to go with me again anyway. Androsace said she was looking for me there, which [blot] is odd, as I... never mentioned to her I would be there. Did I misunderstand something, and was meant to meet her at some time? Did I miss a letter from her? Perhaps I should just write to ask, so I might learn what is happening.

I had heard that Will was 'recovering', and a number of them looked somewhat injured. [a few more spots]They all seemed to be fine, though, claiming each was healing well enough, though I still.. worry. I wished to see Will, but [blot] well, I did eventually. It seems Lafey hadn't yet asked about him when I had, and.. I know that he is quite important to her, that she would likely be a much preferred visitor to myself; I thought she would probably like some time with him, if she were worried too. So I stayed when she went, and saw him a bit later. But I.. [spot] It is such a strange feeling, to be so absent during matters of such importance. It has happened to me a great deal, I know. [blot] It is likely only to happen more. Even still, they say he was recovering fine, and he was able to laugh with us, despite looking fairly battered. He clearly didn't listen when I advised not to get further maimed.

But despite my strange.. reflections, I think something happened where it grew a little bit brighter. When we found our words, we were able to laugh, to weave puns, to question beyond health. It was.. I actually did feel amusement, in more than some fleeting way. I [blot] I was able to feel some things again, when with them, more than.. that vacancy. I was glad that I came. It reminded me of an importance I had forgotten.

I mentioned what I wished to, about heading off elsewhere. They were all somewhat curious, to my surprise, how they might reach me if they wished, what was I going to do about Vathen, if I was going to be on an airship..~ It was.. unexpected, yet nice, somehow, to think that they might wonder. I have been thinking, since, about creating something to help locate me. ...Something.. I normally would never do, if not.. [blot][/i] for those trusted. And I suppose it isn't really going to locate me, just more of a 'guide' for letters. My theory here, is to, potentially, make a pair of small 'crystals' for each of them that are bound to my energy, for letters of more urgency. Instead of the conventional means, these will be guided to my location gently, like things that are magnetized; a bird would be able to feel it, and I will make it (hopefully) comfortable enough to follow. However, it will be weak enough that, if intercepted, the pull may not be noticed by any other. I do not think I could make something that strong anyway. Depending on how much they wish a return, they may imbue their magic into it also, to create a small link back and forth, so they are assured a quick reply. [a few spots] I will write out the theory and procedure to create such things soon, I think, as there are many things to know about such a thing. My vaguer here is no way to conduct an experiment.

It.. [spot] I wonder what it would be like, to occasionally live on an airship. I imagine much like it is to stay on a normal ship, only not in the sea. They are interesting, I love being able to see wide expances of ocean, and far into the distance, like one may up high; thorns, we would be so wonderfully high on an airship, wouldn't we~? But at the same time, so far can be seen, and none of it held. I wouldn't be able to run among those clouds, and that is a little bit discouraging. Still, it would be a grand experience to have sometime. I suppose the sea and the clouds just enjoy their Secrets, and there is no faulting that..~

I also mentioned to Ren my theories about blood magic, and he was curious to hear them. [a few spots]How strange of him, though, to have not known about Lion's Arch. I suppose I can't be too surprised, I really don't know much of what he has been doing, and it certainly seems to have been recently eventful. But even still, should he go, he said I may go with him. It has been where I've frequented lately, and if he wishes to help further, I know 'five pairs of hands', as they say, may be of better assistance than just his own. [a few more spots] I didn't.. expect him, either, to offer a place for me with them at the mansion. At least if I needed it. Nenia had mentioned 'pleasant surprises', and that.. was certainly one for me. Even that he would be willing to go anywhere with me was a bit of a surprise, but.. a welcome one, despite the circumstance. He.. disputed that usefulness has much to do with it, but [a few spots] I still hope I can give something back that.. has some merit. I've.. done enough of nothing.

Afterwards, I went back with Nenia. We.. spoke for a time and.. she seems to be as worried for Lafey as I, though feared any of her own actions may be for naught. [a few spots] Something.. I can understand, but something I don't believe. I.. think Lafey should have what is the most grand to her, something more, and should be able to find what she wishes and wants. I do not wish to stand for what I think she is feeling now, something unwanted, an unwelcome absense that cannot be fulfilled; she thinks that she may never find what she seeks, that she will restlessly settle for what remains. .. I think there is something else there, but [blot] I feel all of them can do something too, more than they may believe, if they wanted. Nenia cares so much, and I do not think she should feel like she would be nothing. She.. helps me more than she knows, I just hope she will learn to see it too. It is not either of our self notions that can determine what is important for another. They choose that. And so anything presented may, just as likely, be something that matters dearly.

I am glad that she was not really going to back away. I.. hope they can, over time, become closer again.