The letter:
[The folded letter is warded. If it did not reach its intended, it goes up in flames. The letter has a warm touch to it, as soon as the proper recipient has it. Unfolding it reveals what appears to be a blank page, but with what seems to be a strange translucent gloss of writing. After a moment, the gloss burns into a readable text.]
Xsaiavlairnn,
I took some time to revisit the village that I left you, but the denizens there said you had moved on. May this letter find you safely.
I hope that you are well. You [blot] had me worried~ but I did not wish to overwhelm you with my being there. Syrla [blot] seemed like quite a handful at that. Hopefully, he [blot] made sure that you were well. I'm afraid that I will not be venturing out quite that far again for the time being. [inkblot]
Write me back so I can have some peace of mind~.
-Sphae
70, Phoenix, 1327
How incredibly frustrating. I am still [blot] bothered, though I suppose little can be done for it now.
Last sun I [spot] got into a bit of trouble. I suppose it wasn't trouble the way I normally consider it to be, more like had a bit of trouble moving about and keeping conscious. I pushed myself too far again, with the Chaos pulling me all the while, giving me more and more energy, and [blot] didn't notice how worn my body was until it was too late. I was fine at first, really, I should have stopped longer at that islet than I had. [a few blots] I suppose, though, at the very least, I was stopped before I made it to the Court's grove. Had my 'lapse' happened within, I.. probably would be in a much worse position than I was.
I was going to see what I could find about 'the place' before the Accident occurred. I still have not forgotten about this odd recurring feeling, it still [spot] I don't know, bugs me that I don't.. know more than I do about this. And it really isn't as though I've any other things to tend to now, nor others who expect to see me. I suppose that makes it the perfect time to look for my own answers.
I'm not sure which of the encampments it's in, though.. I figure closer to the Grove is more likely, to my dismay. ...That didn't stop me from looking at the furthest one possible first, though, so that is what I intended to do. My mistake was.. running all the way from Lion's Arch. Looking back, I'm not sure why I did. I think the Chaos was getting anxious, and I figured it might be a way to satisfy it, but [spot] well, it wasn't satisfied, and just ended up problematic for me instead. Now I won't be running that far at all.
I chance met Sphae and Syr when I was heading to my destination. I didn't expect to, I didn't expect to meet anyone really, and certainly wasn't going to explain my reasons for being there. Sphae, I don't think, felt like explaining either. It was pretty obvious she wasn't there for 'Environmental Changes'..~ But her Secrets are hers, so I said nothing of it. Syr.. apparently got lost in his own thoughts.
[blot]
I am still upset with him too. I couldn't [spot] I mean, I was far too.. gone to be properly upset with him then. (Though the Chaos certainly tried to give me the energy to be.) [blot] I understand what it is to want to do something for someone, and not be able to do anything. I don't let him do anything, I don't [blot] I don't want him to, but I know he does and that it hurts him that he can't. And it's entirely my fault. At the same time, I [spot] I didn't expect him to kiss me. I was barely conscious, I don't see why that would be considered a grand idea to put in action. The last one who kissed me was.. Lafey. And I would have preferred it stay that, as I don't think such a thing will happen again from anyone and [a few more blots] I don't know, none of it makes any sense. I know it doesn't even really mean anything to him anyway, or not what it does for me. I just.. [blot] couldn't do anything about it then, and it was frustrating.
By any branch. We talked some time, the three of us, before all of that brambleous mess. Syr mentioned how he was a Warmaster, and I do not think Sphae... believed that. Part of me doesn't either, considering how he 'led' us that one time we were attacked. It was not how I would think one with such a title would lead, but of course, I can always be wrong. [blots] Thorns, I am so frustrated still.
We talked, and because we were in an obviously dangerous position, we were going to head elsewhere to speak, since.. apparently something needed speaking of. I really wasn't going to say anything more about why I was there one way or another, and since I also had an agenda, I noted I likely won't be with them long. They decided though, that they were going to go and sit somewhere by Skritsberg, so we went to do that.
But never got there. We stopped for some reason. I don't even know why, really, some sort of problem with an encampment? At that point, I was just following for a place to rest a bit, and would have been fine, if we'd actually done that, but.. we stopped and stood. My body didn't care much for just standing; the Chaos was annoyed, everything started to get difficult to see, and before long, despite saying I just wished to sit, another came over and started asking all these questions while we still just stood there [blot]I don't even remember what they were, I just knew I was done getting distracted, and needed to sit on the Winds forsaken ground. So I did. Off to the side. And hoped, if they wished to keep speaking, that they would do so over there.
Well, that didn't happen.
[a few more blots]
Everything else was just messy. I wonder if Shpae was as frustrated as I was, I almost wished her to get out while she could and wished to; I know I would have. She did, at some point. Once.. Syr started getting closer, and Ardra had gone. [a few blots]
Ardra was interesting though, at least what I noted of her. She seemed interested in experiments and healing, though. . . [blot] there was something about her. I don't know. I've no means to make any lasting thoughts on how I was then, I could barely keep awake.
And Syr sounded like he had been planning to go off himself somehow, but not necessarily by wandering about the Nightmare Court... that.. [blot] he needed some sort of 'penance', I bet he was about to say, for something that happened to one he loved. Who was not his Beloved. Remember that hepromised he would not be so reckless. Though not before he promised he wouldn't get hurt, which, how by the Chaos does anyone even expect to be able to keep those words? At the very least that was prevented, thorns.
[another ink blot]
It was all a mess. A frustrating mess, that.. was for the most part, entirely pointless. And aggravating. It could have always been worse, I'll need to.. be easy with myself for a while. I'll return to what I was doing when I've the time and [blot] I need to write Sphae back. She.. was worried for me, and [spot] I imagine that her worry is not something easy to come by. It's.. surprising, and [blot] not even nice, nor welcome, but appreciated, that I.. matter somehow; it is even a small honor, given what she said about it all being pointless, but. [the last part of this has several lines entirely inked out into blocks]
I need to write her back.
No comments:
Post a Comment