34 Phoenix, 1327

I can only hope I am not too... taxing, boring, or overwhelming a teacher.

Nenia has been with me fairly often recently, though I have been staying with her, and [blot] I suppose that follows.  I have begun to teach her staff fighting.  And.. [blot] it is interesting.  It's quite different than teaching magic or Soundlessness.  I find myself both excited and worried, that perhaps I am not doing this well, perhaps I am moving too quickly. I [spot] have a tendency to get excited and move too quickly.

She was doing quite well though!  While we have only just begun, she does listen closely, and tries to follow by example carefully.  I hope she is practicing.  The way to fight well is not so much in the mind, but in the body, and the way to place it in the body is to grow it as a reaction without thought.  Practice helps with this.  Perhaps it's something I should speak of next time.

For my own memory, I have taught her the importance of sliding one's hands, a basic hold, and a basic fighting stance.  As well as a defensive strike to the head from both sides.  [blot]  I wonder if I should name the strikes.  Names are important, but I don't know if there are any they already have.  [a few more spots]  I'll need to think about it.  Perhaps.. [blot] a pinwheel strike.  I have seen those, pinwheels, before in the Reach.  I asked about them to learn their name, as they looked to be little spinning flowers.  The spinning one must do above one's head, in order to strike from the other side reflects the pinwheel. . .  I do not know if it's a good name, but it's one better than 'the defensive strike where you spin the staff above your head'.  [spot]  Should we train again, I'll tell her.

[blot]

I still wish to speak with Ren.  Once I do... I'll know what else I should be looking for.  I also saw Syr, and mentioned to him where I was, should he also wish to practice.  [a few spots]  Perhaps, if I can't speak with Ren soon, I'll take Nenia and I out to research by the castle with spirits.  I feel I've stalled, and.. I don't care for that much.  [a few more blots]

I should also place my notes from Phooka, and the others here.  I've been keeping them close, but they would be safer in these wards, and perhaps [blot] more comfortable with my memories. [a few more blots]

My mind wanders all over while also being a dull numb, almost like a half frozen pond, lapping up against the earth.  It ripples, but seems so strangely stagnant, despite it being an ever-changing thing.  I [spot] have lost quite a bit.  And perhaps it won't stay like this, but part of me.. [spot] wouldn't doubt if it will.  I need to find something to place myself towards, because the study of an alternate Ending is not good enough.