37,Zephyr, 1327
I am an Augur now~ That in itself is rather exciting. It grew more interesting when I spoke with Kaiya about it. I did not know that this group had an extensive history. Apparently even before Kaiya was with them, there are records about sealing away or nullifying magics deemed too dangerous to continue. They must have been extremely powerful in order to pull such magic from their roots. While I have seen the In-Between, and can create Bends, Rifts, and other manipulations of what is within and around space and time. . . To nullify a magic indefinitely, from all else and any who may use it other than within a single instance, was something that never crossed my recollection. It seems so grand a Bend, that.. it is beyond simply Bending. It is.. entirely Omitting. Erasing one of the rules. How much Chaos that must bring, to Erase a rule. [spot]
She had seemed to think I wished to be a Navigator, due to my favor for exploration. I do suppose that I do not speak very openly of my vast interest in magic, now that I consider it. Though it is always interesting to find when others do not know my thoughts; I do not think I will ever tire of it~ She does know from my telling, now, of my poor sense of direction, and often circles I find myself in when travelling. I do not mind being lost, as I really do not belong anywhere. I almost cannot be lost, unless I have a destination and find I cannot remember how to reach it. But where I find myself is where I can be, and that is good enough for me.... I am sure that is not good enough for path forgers and map scribes. It is not good enough for leaders, and those who wish to seek out locations and bring others to them. It is not something I want to bring others into if they are not of similar mind. [spot]
I do not believe my memory will get better. Perhaps only the opposite. But perhaps not. Though I think if not, it would only be through magic, and not wandering (unless wandering leads to a solution, but not simply wandering in it's own leaf) that will improve my directional sense. I could be wrong, though. ... But.. considering. . . [blot]
Which leads to how I wished to ask Kaiya further about the book of Second Knowledge, the interesting journal in their vault which seems to bring one into a different place to record a memory... but I did not get that far. It seems there had been some kind of meeting, in which the ruins of tranquility, and the places I had vaguely mentioned as possible locations for experiment had been brought up. They all found us, and.. were.. apparently expecting to be lead there. Though, they had confused the ruins and the places, and I had no knowledge of such an expedition.
I was.. not very pleased. But it was my mistake for thinking that humans hide so much that my half completed thoughts and excitement about what I had found would be kept quiet until more fully grown. I will know next time if I prefer Secrets or temporary quiet, I will have to speak it. Or simply not speak of it at all. Though after considering, the ruins are not a place of my own... as.. much as I feel comfortable there. They are too grand to be mine. [spot] But as Lafey said, perhaps someday I will become as grand as they are. [blot] I find I cannot contain a glowing smile and a sunshine warmth after writing that, even though it came much later.
The not-plan to go to the ruins was discarded, and I am grateful. I do not understand though, the notions of others trying to scout for places I already knew, when they did not know where they are even scouting, or for what. I find that is a familiar feeling, to be aggravated with half-knowledge, but not seeking its completion. Why would you not wish to know further what you seek, yet claim you do know what you do not? But that is their choice. If they wish to run under that premise, they may. I would have only preferred to present my ideas myself, when they were more fully formed, instead of through others guessing at my half thoughts that were not fully understood. Next time I will learn.
Oddly, though, this seemed to cause Lafey great wilting. I found her and she had been losing water; I was unsure what was wrong or what was happening. I had considered finding her water, and carrying it to her in a leaf, but I could not remember where the fountain was that I had seen. So instead, I offered her the only fruit I had with me, and hoped the water in it would be enough. She took it, and seemed to bloom a bit better afterwards. She thought I was angry, but I said that it was all misunderstood. She also told me that she loses water often, sometimes when she is happy, and other times when she doesn't know what to do. I thought it was like my running. Perhaps I am wrong, but it sounds close. I wonder if it is like Ren's running too.
I still wish to show her the ruins before I must take others. Even if they are not mine, they please me a great deal, and I would like her to be able to see them and just to be.
I am an Augur now~ That in itself is rather exciting. It grew more interesting when I spoke with Kaiya about it. I did not know that this group had an extensive history. Apparently even before Kaiya was with them, there are records about sealing away or nullifying magics deemed too dangerous to continue. They must have been extremely powerful in order to pull such magic from their roots. While I have seen the In-Between, and can create Bends, Rifts, and other manipulations of what is within and around space and time. . . To nullify a magic indefinitely, from all else and any who may use it other than within a single instance, was something that never crossed my recollection. It seems so grand a Bend, that.. it is beyond simply Bending. It is.. entirely Omitting. Erasing one of the rules. How much Chaos that must bring, to Erase a rule. [spot]
She had seemed to think I wished to be a Navigator, due to my favor for exploration. I do suppose that I do not speak very openly of my vast interest in magic, now that I consider it. Though it is always interesting to find when others do not know my thoughts; I do not think I will ever tire of it~ She does know from my telling, now, of my poor sense of direction, and often circles I find myself in when travelling. I do not mind being lost, as I really do not belong anywhere. I almost cannot be lost, unless I have a destination and find I cannot remember how to reach it. But where I find myself is where I can be, and that is good enough for me.... I am sure that is not good enough for path forgers and map scribes. It is not good enough for leaders, and those who wish to seek out locations and bring others to them. It is not something I want to bring others into if they are not of similar mind. [spot]
I do not believe my memory will get better. Perhaps only the opposite. But perhaps not. Though I think if not, it would only be through magic, and not wandering (unless wandering leads to a solution, but not simply wandering in it's own leaf) that will improve my directional sense. I could be wrong, though. ... But.. considering. . . [blot]
Which leads to how I wished to ask Kaiya further about the book of Second Knowledge, the interesting journal in their vault which seems to bring one into a different place to record a memory... but I did not get that far. It seems there had been some kind of meeting, in which the ruins of tranquility, and the places I had vaguely mentioned as possible locations for experiment had been brought up. They all found us, and.. were.. apparently expecting to be lead there. Though, they had confused the ruins and the places, and I had no knowledge of such an expedition.
I was.. not very pleased. But it was my mistake for thinking that humans hide so much that my half completed thoughts and excitement about what I had found would be kept quiet until more fully grown. I will know next time if I prefer Secrets or temporary quiet, I will have to speak it. Or simply not speak of it at all. Though after considering, the ruins are not a place of my own... as.. much as I feel comfortable there. They are too grand to be mine. [spot] But as Lafey said, perhaps someday I will become as grand as they are. [blot] I find I cannot contain a glowing smile and a sunshine warmth after writing that, even though it came much later.
The not-plan to go to the ruins was discarded, and I am grateful. I do not understand though, the notions of others trying to scout for places I already knew, when they did not know where they are even scouting, or for what. I find that is a familiar feeling, to be aggravated with half-knowledge, but not seeking its completion. Why would you not wish to know further what you seek, yet claim you do know what you do not? But that is their choice. If they wish to run under that premise, they may. I would have only preferred to present my ideas myself, when they were more fully formed, instead of through others guessing at my half thoughts that were not fully understood. Next time I will learn.
Oddly, though, this seemed to cause Lafey great wilting. I found her and she had been losing water; I was unsure what was wrong or what was happening. I had considered finding her water, and carrying it to her in a leaf, but I could not remember where the fountain was that I had seen. So instead, I offered her the only fruit I had with me, and hoped the water in it would be enough. She took it, and seemed to bloom a bit better afterwards. She thought I was angry, but I said that it was all misunderstood. She also told me that she loses water often, sometimes when she is happy, and other times when she doesn't know what to do. I thought it was like my running. Perhaps I am wrong, but it sounds close. I wonder if it is like Ren's running too.
I still wish to show her the ruins before I must take others. Even if they are not mine, they please me a great deal, and I would like her to be able to see them and just to be.
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