75, Zephyr, 1327
Kaiya woke last sun. It was grand, I knew she would wake soon; or well, at least hoped she would from all others speaking. We all visited her. Ren came out of hiding too. He still hasn't really spoken much to me though, but it's alright. I couldn't help but hug him, I just [blot]. I kept feeling like I wouldn't see him again, so when I did, it was exciting.
Phooka said Ren has to talk to me eventually, but.. I don't know if he does. He doesn't if he doesn't want to. I'd really like to speak with him, like how we used to speak [blot] well maybe not just like that, I suppose everything changes, so we'd speak like we have more knowledge now. I'm not sure if he liked anything that I gave him. He did say 'thank you' though, perhaps it was for those things. [spot]Perhaps I need to stop thinking I am.. problematic until I know. I am unsure if he still feels so far away or not. [blot] He may just find it easier if he doesn't see me.
Maybe I will keep writing to him. I can write him memories, since we don't see each other much now. I don't know if he would care for it anymore, but [blot] well, it is just.. It was always nice when it was the two of us, better than when it was just me alone. We know each other, but I feel like without our reminding, we may be starting to forget things; he may have forgotten how to see my light, I may have forgotten.. well, I don't even know, if I've forgotten something. That's kind of what it is to forget. I could be wrong too, but I don't think I know a lot about what concerns him now, even on top of forgetting. It's ok if they are Secrets, but he is still my friend, and I would like him to continue to know me if he'd like. Even if I am behind, it doesn't mean he has to be too.
[spot]
Phooka and I are also apparently planning something for Lafey~ It's nice, it was originally his idea, but then we both helped form it further, so I guess now it is our idea. We wish to make her a heart-shaped pendant and Phooka would like an image of us inside it. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if Lafey should be in it too; would she like that better? It would be best to have her with us, even if in illusory form. I remember her enough that I could place an illusion of her too, I think I'll mention this to Phooka. He said he'd like every time it was opened for it to have a different image, or making different faces. I asked if we should make it the shape of a certain being's heart, so it can be like a puzzle; I'd like to see if she can guess which one it was made like~ I imagine as both herself and as a necromancer she would like that - I am not even a necromancer, and if I knew what different hearts were like, I know I'd like it. I wonder what sort of creature it should be... It could be a human, but would that be too obvious? I suppose it would make the most sense. Perhaps a bird, as Phooka makes clockwork birds. I wonder what her favorite animal is. She said she likes cats. Would it be strange to make it a cat heart? We'll have to think about this more.
We [blot] We went back to her home, and we didn't find her at first, but she came in later with [spot] Lucreace. Apparently he works for Lafey's grandmother, and is supposed to stay at her side all the time, because her grandmother said so. I do not know much about servants. I thought they did what they did for a while, but then could do what they cared to also. It. . . it doesn't sound like this with Lucreace. Which is... somewhat.. alarming. Is this something that they chose? Perhaps I will ask him sometime.
He.. He was hiding a lot, and seemed to have many Secrets, but Lafey said it was wrong to mention that. I don't understand why, almost everyone hides and has Secrets, unless they are a Dreamer, I would think. I find it strange that humans sometimes think it wrong to say something so clear. But I apologized, and Lucreace said it was alright. I asked him if he would tell me if I said anything more that bothered him, and he... indicated that he would. [blot] He is strange. It is hard to tell if he blooms bright or not, but I can't say I know much of him at all. He had eyes behind a mask of color almost like Lafey's, but of bright violets instead of a crisp leafy green. He also didn't answer a lot of my questions, which is exactly why I mentioned he was hiding a lot.
[blot]
Lafey was also acting.. strange. It was all quite peculiar. I thought at first it was due mostly to her feeling her grandmother was watching through Lucreace. Before she mentioned being unable to be herself while within her grandmother's walls, so I thought that is why she was acting different... because of that, but. It was.. even more different than that. It seemed like she knew him. The way she spoke, when that moth went to her.. she called him a Butterfly, and he responded in kind, like he knew, before he ran. Her voice was soft, like the dappled drops of sun that come through the foliage in a canopy, it was certainly like she was remembering something. But when I asked, she almost didn't seem to know what I was even speaking about. She denied knowing him more than him being a servant in the house, and didn't answer my question. It was... strange. Her demeanor was strange in general, I.. [spot] I'm actually somewhat worried for her. I don't think.. those illusions were doing anything, but what if they were? Was she seeing something more in them? Was Lucreace doing something himself, or.. or does she forget things like I might? I hope not. I've.. obviously never seen myself forget, but it certainly seems like.. Well, there was something more there than mere off-words. It's.. troubling, but I don't know if she actually knows him or not, I can really only trust her. I could try to ask Lucreace, but I don't think he will tell me either. I really don't even need to know the actual answer. I just would like to know if Lafey is alright.
[blot] I think for now I'll just need to watch. But I will see to her when I can.
Kaiya woke last sun. It was grand, I knew she would wake soon; or well, at least hoped she would from all others speaking. We all visited her. Ren came out of hiding too. He still hasn't really spoken much to me though, but it's alright. I couldn't help but hug him, I just [blot]. I kept feeling like I wouldn't see him again, so when I did, it was exciting.
Phooka said Ren has to talk to me eventually, but.. I don't know if he does. He doesn't if he doesn't want to. I'd really like to speak with him, like how we used to speak [blot] well maybe not just like that, I suppose everything changes, so we'd speak like we have more knowledge now. I'm not sure if he liked anything that I gave him. He did say 'thank you' though, perhaps it was for those things. [spot]Perhaps I need to stop thinking I am.. problematic until I know. I am unsure if he still feels so far away or not. [blot] He may just find it easier if he doesn't see me.
Maybe I will keep writing to him. I can write him memories, since we don't see each other much now. I don't know if he would care for it anymore, but [blot] well, it is just.. It was always nice when it was the two of us, better than when it was just me alone. We know each other, but I feel like without our reminding, we may be starting to forget things; he may have forgotten how to see my light, I may have forgotten.. well, I don't even know, if I've forgotten something. That's kind of what it is to forget. I could be wrong too, but I don't think I know a lot about what concerns him now, even on top of forgetting. It's ok if they are Secrets, but he is still my friend, and I would like him to continue to know me if he'd like. Even if I am behind, it doesn't mean he has to be too.
[spot]
Phooka and I are also apparently planning something for Lafey~ It's nice, it was originally his idea, but then we both helped form it further, so I guess now it is our idea. We wish to make her a heart-shaped pendant and Phooka would like an image of us inside it. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if Lafey should be in it too; would she like that better? It would be best to have her with us, even if in illusory form. I remember her enough that I could place an illusion of her too, I think I'll mention this to Phooka. He said he'd like every time it was opened for it to have a different image, or making different faces. I asked if we should make it the shape of a certain being's heart, so it can be like a puzzle; I'd like to see if she can guess which one it was made like~ I imagine as both herself and as a necromancer she would like that - I am not even a necromancer, and if I knew what different hearts were like, I know I'd like it. I wonder what sort of creature it should be... It could be a human, but would that be too obvious? I suppose it would make the most sense. Perhaps a bird, as Phooka makes clockwork birds. I wonder what her favorite animal is. She said she likes cats. Would it be strange to make it a cat heart? We'll have to think about this more.
We [blot] We went back to her home, and we didn't find her at first, but she came in later with [spot] Lucreace. Apparently he works for Lafey's grandmother, and is supposed to stay at her side all the time, because her grandmother said so. I do not know much about servants. I thought they did what they did for a while, but then could do what they cared to also. It. . . it doesn't sound like this with Lucreace. Which is... somewhat.. alarming. Is this something that they chose? Perhaps I will ask him sometime.
He.. He was hiding a lot, and seemed to have many Secrets, but Lafey said it was wrong to mention that. I don't understand why, almost everyone hides and has Secrets, unless they are a Dreamer, I would think. I find it strange that humans sometimes think it wrong to say something so clear. But I apologized, and Lucreace said it was alright. I asked him if he would tell me if I said anything more that bothered him, and he... indicated that he would. [blot] He is strange. It is hard to tell if he blooms bright or not, but I can't say I know much of him at all. He had eyes behind a mask of color almost like Lafey's, but of bright violets instead of a crisp leafy green. He also didn't answer a lot of my questions, which is exactly why I mentioned he was hiding a lot.
[blot]
Lafey was also acting.. strange. It was all quite peculiar. I thought at first it was due mostly to her feeling her grandmother was watching through Lucreace. Before she mentioned being unable to be herself while within her grandmother's walls, so I thought that is why she was acting different... because of that, but. It was.. even more different than that. It seemed like she knew him. The way she spoke, when that moth went to her.. she called him a Butterfly, and he responded in kind, like he knew, before he ran. Her voice was soft, like the dappled drops of sun that come through the foliage in a canopy, it was certainly like she was remembering something. But when I asked, she almost didn't seem to know what I was even speaking about. She denied knowing him more than him being a servant in the house, and didn't answer my question. It was... strange. Her demeanor was strange in general, I.. [spot] I'm actually somewhat worried for her. I don't think.. those illusions were doing anything, but what if they were? Was she seeing something more in them? Was Lucreace doing something himself, or.. or does she forget things like I might? I hope not. I've.. obviously never seen myself forget, but it certainly seems like.. Well, there was something more there than mere off-words. It's.. troubling, but I don't know if she actually knows him or not, I can really only trust her. I could try to ask Lucreace, but I don't think he will tell me either. I really don't even need to know the actual answer. I just would like to know if Lafey is alright.
[blot] I think for now I'll just need to watch. But I will see to her when I can.
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