[There are several shimmering silver petals in the pages here; they seem to glow brightly, even despite being pressed into the pages of the book.]

64,Zephyr, 1327 

It has been a long time since I placed any memories, and there are a lot of memories to place.

I think I will list them to start, and see where the tumultuous winds of my thoughts take me after.

* We set out to put an End to Riot. We were successful.
- Phooka did not keep his word; he moved rashly against her twice, and once jumped into a portal after her alone. He ended up alright, but I was very upset. He easily could have waited a couple seconds for us to both go together, like he promised. He.. [blot] I found him and protected him as much as I could, and before he fell unconscious, he kissed me. I [spot] I still.. [blot] He did it again recently too, before I went out to help the Will and others. He never gives me any chance to react, but.. he says he might be scared to. [ink spot]
- Tala was in a machine, but we managed to get her out. She is still alive and recovering with the other Valesongs.
- Will shot Riot in the head, she is dead now.
- She had a strange amulet that had wild and twisted Chaos energy in it. It was also a part of the siphoning. We don't know exactly what the amulet is or does yet, but I don't think anyone should wear it.

* We moved to Lafey's Grandmother's home for a while.
- It was big and interesting, but I didn't like it. It restrained Lafey from being herself within those walls.
- Ren made us a wonderful breakfast, despite the place. It was nice to have something he created again; he creates such grand things.

* We moved from the restraining walls to the Reynolt Clinic.
- Everyone who needed rest was placed there, being Phooka and the Valesongs. Phooka hadn't woken for a while, I.. was getting worried.
- Ren got a letter from William saying that he was somewhere dangerous but would be back soon, I think. Everyone grew worried, but didn't know how to find him. Considering everything, I'm guessing they figured out a way.
- Will sent back the amulet and people have been watching it since. We still don't know what it is.
- Myra seems to be connected to Tala and Kaiya as well. They keep transferring energy between each other. I may try to redirect it on occasion if.. it continues seeming to hurt them.

* I ran with Syr.
- We went to somewhere in Maguuma Jungle. I didn't know it was such a big place.
- There was a .. strange bog of sorts, with a number of spirits there. One was very large and looked like an Oakheart, but wasn't. We tried to speak with it. It only said 'Defend yourself' and attacked us. Then it seemed content.. sort of. There were a number of troubled spirits in the area, but we couldn't seem to figure out why.
- We went on to find other strange creatures and some ruins. There were bandits trying to repair a bridge to get to some of them. We tried to get up without the bridge, but couldn't find a way.
- There was a place of brilliant light and sun. It was very pretty.
- On the other side of the jungle, there was a land that looked starved of water. It was strange, being so close to a place abundant in it, but we did not figure out why this was either.
- We found more ruins and more spirits. These ruins were more like a castle, and spirits were running about it fighting each other. We climbed to the top of them and it was grand to be able to see the unhindered sky again.
- We.. [blot] sat and spoke. I think Syr really needed to run. He seemed better up there, and I was glad we ran together. We spoke of each other, we spoke about friendship, and Syr started talking about love. He.. He said that he thinks I love Lafey. I didn't say much then, but it stuck with me and I thought about it a lot later. He.. He also asked if I loved Phooka, but I was still too upset then to think about it. So I started running again.
- We found a strange place that seemed asuran, but also seemed like ruins. It was dirtier than most asuran places, it was interesting though. There were strange toxic plants not too far off, and Syr mentioned the Inquest being around too.
- Lastly, there was this magnificent place with many beautiful plants neither of us had seen before. Some of them were like a string of glowing stars, and others were just massive glowing structures that were just.. wonderful. I wonder if that was the only place they grew. We found a Wurm spirit there, though we didn't try to talk to it.
- Syr.. said that he considers me a friend there. I was surprised, since I hide so much, and he knows I will, but he said that I have done more than enough to be his friend. [blot] I think he would be a good friend.

[spot]

* Lafey
- I went to see her at her home. She returned my memories to me, and I told her she could keep the pendant I gave her. She.. decided to wear it and I.. I was quite pleased.
- I told her about what happened with Phooka, and why I was upset. She seemed a little far, but I didn't mention that.
- It.. It seemed that she.. also knew, at first, what I had been thinking about in terms of love. But maybe she didn't, maybe it just sounded like she did. She said something about me having found the beginnings of love, and then mentioned something about Phooka being 'redeemable'. I said that I wasn't going to mention that I think I loved her until I knew for sure, and wasn't sure what Phooka had to do with that either, but.. she-[blot] She changed colors a lot, but seemed to feel hurt then. I tried to help her, I didn't really know what to do. Perhaps these kinds of feelings are dangerous. People seem to feel hurt or lose consciousness around them. She was ok though.
- We talked more about it. We tried to figure out what kind of love I had for her. She was upset, and she thought she was ruining everything, but I told her she definitely wasn't ruining anything at all. Apparently, according to her, many people only love one other. Syr never mentioned that. I thought that was strange, and was worried that it might restrict her somehow if she felt that way, so I told her she didn't have to love me if she didn't want to, it would be alright. She seemed confused and didn't know. I don't think I really knew either.
- I tried to tell her how much I liked being around her and Phooka. She said she was very fond of us too, but she still seemed confused. I felt like I could understand; the more I hear about it, the more confusing it seems. I don't know why we can't just continue doing what we'd enjoy to do without it being so confusing. I hope we can soon.
- She [blot] She said that there was platonic love, familial love, and romantic love. She wanted to know which one I felt, and I didn't know. I thought it could be the first one and the last one. Which I didn't.. know if that made sense, but. She also asked what I wanted, like wanting to kiss someone is a certain kind of love. I mean, she means so much to me the way she is, and I think romantic love is even more than that. How can I really ask for more than what I've found, when it's already more than I ever thought I'd know? Plus, I didn't.. want to do anything that she wouldn't want, especially if that, to her, is only for one person. So I didn't know.[spot]
- She said I could kiss her though, to help see. She turned a lot of colors when she said that. I asked if she was certain, and she was so [blot] I did. And. I didn't linger, because in case it wasn't, I didn't want to but- [spot] I..[more spots] It was very nice. I said I would do it again. She.. she seemed really pleased too, and said she would also. [blot] I think I know which one it is now~

[ink spot]

* Phooka
- He woke up last sun. I found him there with a book and tea. I.. I was glad, but surprised, and also still upset.
- I made sure he was alright before.. I told him what I needed to. I wanted him to know what his choices meant. I can only know him by what he says, and I would rather he not give me promises if he doesn't have them.
- I wasn't sure if he understood at first. He seemed very upset, I didn't want to drown out his sun, but I just wanted him to learn. We still, and will, care for him very much. He doesn't seem to see how brilliant he is.
- Lafey came too, and said something similar. He had to rest again not long afterward, so after a little while I went off to run.
- After I ran some I came back and he was up again. We stayed to talk some. Though it wasn't for long. Ren said to the comm creature that there were snipers. We wanted to know what happened, and I wanted to know if they needed help, and Syr told me where to go.
- Phooka had mentioned simply wanting a day to be able to talk some time. I said hopefully it would be soon. He said he would stay, I asked if he was sure, and he was. Before I went to leave he- [blot] He kissed me again. I think I mentioned this already, I.. [spot] One of these times I will be able to react to this, or maybe I will just do the same thing to him and then run, so he can't react either.

* William
- He was really hurt when I got there. There was a man named Jerod I think, and he seemed to be the one that hurt Will. Lafey, Ren, Androsace, Syr, and I all fought him. Nenia was helping Will.
- We all got pretty torn up, but he eventually fell. Will did not want Jerod to die, so no one killed him. He was going to be brought to the Seraph.
- I created other selves to help carry Will to an outpost. We brought him up the stairs to a priestess and laid him on a bed to rest. I could not heal him anymore the only way I knew how, and [blot] I am not someone he is very close to. I am very worried for him, but I did not want to be in the way. There wasn't much space. And I said I would return to Phooka. So I left.
- Nenia said he had evidence against Jerod. Hopefully [blot] hopefully Will is doing better.


I.. I returned to Phooka and he was quite worried. He wanted to take care of me. I.. I think I got sap all over the bed, though Phooka insisted that I stay in it. He.. pressed my bloody hand to his face. It probably would have been strange to say that he was pretty like that, so I didn't. But he didn't seem to mind the mess. He helped bandage me, and gave me a warm tea, and when I was drifting away he spoke to me and sang to me. I.. [blot] He did good staying when he said he would. I know it must have been hard, but he did it, and I am glad for him. He.. he didn't have to do all those things for me. But it was really nice that he did. I felt a lot better, and still do. I.. I don't think I am nearly as good at being there for him, but I try. Hopefully we can both sit in the sun again soon, instead of just being stuck in different rooms. Perhaps someday he would like to run with me too.

[spot]

I feel like I am in many places at once. It is hard to sort myself when my worry is far across the land, and all around me too. I was hoping that we would be able to be more free, but it seems things keep happening. I.. I didn't think I could stay around it much more. I already feel far away sometimes and exhausted still, I would just like to curl up with Lafey and Phooka in the sun, and not have to worry for a while. Perhaps that is too much to ask for right now. I would really rather that everyone is well, has themselves, and is unhurt, so if something happens that I ask, let it be that instead.

[blot] I might write more about these things later, when my mind isn't so crowded. I think I will ask Diela if she has anything for bulletwounds, and various other supplies - medical, food, drink, blankets perhaps - to bring to them over at the fort. I know they probably have supplies, but forts are often rationed, and perhaps something a little nicer and extra may help. I don't know. It feels like all I can really do for them right now, so I may as well do it.