[Some updates seem to have been made to the 'Names of Humans' page, with an additional name added, and another lengthened.]
Nenia: Presses flowers.
Qwen: Studied golemancy, energy theory, and now quantum physics.
William: Likes "familiy dinner"s.
Sylvia: Once Seraph.
Lafey: Draws anatomical sketches (and will let me see sometime! Remember to ask)
Androsace: Likes toast.
Ren: Likes the sea.
Kaiya: Was saved by Phooka ('s devices?).
Phooka: Was (is?) a Gardener. Likes to dance.
33,Zephyr, 1327
A lot happened, and I have already begun to forget some of it. I'll hope that my small bits of knowledge I can place will allow me enough recollection for when it is all gone. There was a guild dinner. I had tried to grow myself some nice clothing to do something unique, but it.. did not go as well as I had hoped. I do not think I will ever be able to grow anything properly or the way I would like with my back as it is.[ink spot] It is too difficult, I bet it looked a tangled, weedy mess, but I tried to hide it the whole time so no one could see. No one asked, anyway, perhaps they didn't.
The dinner was bright. There was a lot of wonderful food, and I brought some of it back with me. I preserved it with the Chaos before Ren and I went to speak afterwards. Kaiya and Phooka did a nice job arranging it for everyone. I do not remember a time where I have been at such a large dinner. Though, I suppose that does not mean much, but it was still grand. We all shared a leaflet about ourselves and our names. I wonder if I should have said something different and new. [spot] I am glad for their company, they do seem to welcome me andenjoy tolerate will answer my questions. Though I know that I am still... far away. I wonder if they think that is better, but I know I can be difficult, so perhaps it is.
Lafey said the creature wasn't sentient, but I still think it is. Or maybe it really is not, but it will speak to me when no one else is there, and all it seems to wish is being brought to a certain place now and then, I do not see why I cannot treat it more kindly. [spot]
A bit of a diverging branch, but I wonder what it is that people are protecting themselves from when they make second selves. I asked Ren about it, and he said it was something that may not physically hurt them. . . I believe I understand that. Almost like our inevitabilities. Though I didn't get to ask him because I had forgotten sometime after Lafey showed up there, and could not find my words quick enough again. Conversations jump around so quickly with humans, and when you remember something you had forgotten to say, they seem to be surprised that you would say it. I do not know if this is just how they are, that they keep going and leave things unsaid, or if it is just myself. [ink blot]
I did ask Ren about that as well; if he would help me. Though he did not really answer, he did say 'we' could ask Kaiya about something, so perhaps he will help, at least a little bit. It was strange to ask him to help me. I was scared that he would not, but there is no solid reason as to why. It means so much to me, to be able to find a way to keep experiences and memories that are my own. And I would not mind him seeing them, if he wanted to, but he could take that choice and I would not feel uneasy about it. Certainly he would be able to place his own in what may be found as well, I would like him to keep himself and all that is him if he wishes it. [ink blot] . . I sometimes wonder if what I have done has caused me to[blot] lose more than I wanted. If it is why I keep losing things. I worry that I might lose myself too. Despite how lonely many seekers of knowledge I have met seem to be, I think that losing one's self might be the lonliest of all.
We did do some experiments, however, and that was excellent. I am running out of space here, so I may notate them down on a separate page, and continue this one for memories, but I will quickly write several other things so as not to forget.
* Lafey's abilities are connected to her sense of touch. Ren claims this is why she does not like it. He says it is not necessarily connected to her birthrights, like she told me, but to believe her instead on matters of herself. Perhaps I will ask.
* Ren will continue to help me with my experiments. I will need to let him know when I wish to do more.
* Androsace and Culbren, another sylvari we met at the dinner, seem to have a strong connection to the Dream and the Pale Tree. We said we would take Lafey to see her sometime when we are able. We can show her the Tablet as well. [blot] I am excited for her gaining knowledge, and it outweighs my unease of going; I feel I would regret if I do not accompany her to the Grove.
* Androsace and Culbren are both Dusk blooms as well. I had forgotten, I do not think we explained the other cycles to Lafey. Perhaps I will send her a letter. It may prove less strange than speaking it when next I think of it.
Nenia: Presses flowers.
Qwen: Studied golemancy, energy theory, and now quantum physics.
William: Likes "familiy dinner"s.
Sylvia: Once Seraph.
Lafey: Draws anatomical sketches (and will let me see sometime! Remember to ask)
Androsace: Likes toast.
Ren: Likes the sea.
Kaiya: Was saved by Phooka ('s devices?).
Phooka: Was (is?) a Gardener. Likes to dance.
___________________________________________________________________
33,Zephyr, 1327
A lot happened, and I have already begun to forget some of it. I'll hope that my small bits of knowledge I can place will allow me enough recollection for when it is all gone. There was a guild dinner. I had tried to grow myself some nice clothing to do something unique, but it.. did not go as well as I had hoped. I do not think I will ever be able to grow anything properly or the way I would like with my back as it is.[ink spot] It is too difficult, I bet it looked a tangled, weedy mess, but I tried to hide it the whole time so no one could see. No one asked, anyway, perhaps they didn't.
The dinner was bright. There was a lot of wonderful food, and I brought some of it back with me. I preserved it with the Chaos before Ren and I went to speak afterwards. Kaiya and Phooka did a nice job arranging it for everyone. I do not remember a time where I have been at such a large dinner. Though, I suppose that does not mean much, but it was still grand. We all shared a leaflet about ourselves and our names. I wonder if I should have said something different and new. [spot] I am glad for their company, they do seem to welcome me and
Lafey said the creature wasn't sentient, but I still think it is. Or maybe it really is not, but it will speak to me when no one else is there, and all it seems to wish is being brought to a certain place now and then, I do not see why I cannot treat it more kindly. [spot]
A bit of a diverging branch, but I wonder what it is that people are protecting themselves from when they make second selves. I asked Ren about it, and he said it was something that may not physically hurt them. . . I believe I understand that. Almost like our inevitabilities. Though I didn't get to ask him because I had forgotten sometime after Lafey showed up there, and could not find my words quick enough again. Conversations jump around so quickly with humans, and when you remember something you had forgotten to say, they seem to be surprised that you would say it. I do not know if this is just how they are, that they keep going and leave things unsaid, or if it is just myself. [ink blot]
I did ask Ren about that as well; if he would help me. Though he did not really answer, he did say 'we' could ask Kaiya about something, so perhaps he will help, at least a little bit. It was strange to ask him to help me. I was scared that he would not, but there is no solid reason as to why. It means so much to me, to be able to find a way to keep experiences and memories that are my own. And I would not mind him seeing them, if he wanted to, but he could take that choice and I would not feel uneasy about it. Certainly he would be able to place his own in what may be found as well, I would like him to keep himself and all that is him if he wishes it. [ink blot] . . I sometimes wonder if what I have done has caused me to[blot] lose more than I wanted. If it is why I keep losing things. I worry that I might lose myself too. Despite how lonely many seekers of knowledge I have met seem to be, I think that losing one's self might be the lonliest of all.
We did do some experiments, however, and that was excellent. I am running out of space here, so I may notate them down on a separate page, and continue this one for memories, but I will quickly write several other things so as not to forget.
* Lafey's abilities are connected to her sense of touch. Ren claims this is why she does not like it. He says it is not necessarily connected to her birthrights, like she told me, but to believe her instead on matters of herself. Perhaps I will ask.
* Ren will continue to help me with my experiments. I will need to let him know when I wish to do more.
* Androsace and Culbren, another sylvari we met at the dinner, seem to have a strong connection to the Dream and the Pale Tree. We said we would take Lafey to see her sometime when we are able. We can show her the Tablet as well. [blot] I am excited for her gaining knowledge, and it outweighs my unease of going; I feel I would regret if I do not accompany her to the Grove.
* Androsace and Culbren are both Dusk blooms as well. I had forgotten, I do not think we explained the other cycles to Lafey. Perhaps I will send her a letter. It may prove less strange than speaking it when next I think of it.
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